"Build Me An Alcohol"

(CHORUS)
I bet you like this naming.
Bet you dream about it.
Got you all hot and bothered
Because we sing about it.
If you're lookin' for nomenclature
Keep on listenin'
Cause it's all in this song.
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh, Yea

VERSE 1CHORUS:
Why don't you build me a (build me a) alcohol, baby
Using Osmium (osmium) and four oxygens
And then break it up (break it up) with sodium bisulfite
To get the O (get the O) and H's to bond
It makes two (it makes two) separate hydroxyls
One adds on each carbon that's bound
So build me a (build me a) alcohol, please make my bond

"It'll add from both sides", you told me time and again
But you're wrong, it's syn addition then (bah dah dah)
I run to the door, I can't take any more
This breaks rules, I just can't follow them.
(Hey, hey, hey!) Both you O-H, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) A carbon to bind, both on the same side
(Hey, hey, hey!) It's all prepared
It's ready there waiting for you
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

CHORUS

You're my alkene but you could be the one I adore
Just dihydroxylate (bah dah dah)
Double bond hinge right, to form that osmate I like all the more
Wonderful cyclic form

(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find
(Hey, hey, hey!) Just two more H's, and you'll be all mine
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be set
When I get rid of the O-s and O's
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo

CHORUS
{fade}

Find the Longest Carbon chain
Could be methane or butane.
Then find which way the chain's numbered,
Which Carbon's first,
Just put in work.
Identify the groups,
And add their numbers till you get the low sum.
I'm not being too dramatic
This is how you have to have it.
Put the names together,
Make sure it's in alphabetical order.
Don't forget di-, tri-, and tetra-
When a group shows up more than once.

(CHORUS)
I bet you like this naming
Bet you dream about it
Got you all hot and bothered
Because we sing about it
If you're lookin' for nomenclature
Keep on listenin'
Cause it's all in this song
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh, Yea

(CHORUS)